Who me?

learning to see myself clearly

Feeling Stuck

stuck-dogIt’s not easy feeling stuck…when your head spins around the same thought.  It’s easy to spend time wondering, Why me?

Those thoughts are a trap.  We need to try to watch them go by and replace them with a more positive version.  How about,  Why not me?

Think about the difference.  Why me? belongs to a victim…someone who feels powerless.  Why not me? belongs to someone who is open to a lesson…someone who realizes that we are all tested in this life.  No one is too good for a lesson.

Everyone has stuff they deal with…  If you think someone doesn’t, you don’t know them as well as you think you do.


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Clearing the noise in my head

How do you clear your mind?  This was the question posed by my friend on Saturday.  As I thought about it, it occurred to me that the answer wasn’t as simple as yoga, breathing, meditation, acupuncture…and all of those type of things I have mentioned.  I realized that it is deeper than that.

As an educator, I have spent over 25 years learning about how the brain works.  I learned, years ago, that when kids were working on things that were strongly right brained they talked less and didn’t seem to notice the passage of time.  I came to understand that this made sense because it is the left brain that perceives time and processes language.

I realized that when I thought about the kinds of things that calm me, they were primarily right brain activities.  I think that when I sit and run negative thoughts or over analyze things, that happens in my left brain.  Music, art, creativity, spatial kinds of puzzles, sudoku, watching and listening to the waves at the ocean, laughter, spontaneity all happen in my right brain and help pull me away from the things that drag me down.  It is when I do these kinds of things that time passes effortlessly and I relax.  Yoga and things like that work because I get lost in the music (right brain).


Searching for peace


To be calm in my heart…that is what I seek.  I think if I learn to quiet my mind, to let go, this journey will be a success.

I love to go out to breakfast.  When I discovered there is a Saturday morning meeting at my favorite diner, I knew I’d be there.  It was a terrific way to start the day.  By the time I left, my tummy was nicely full and my mind was in a good place.  I was feeling a bit stressed and tight in my neck and shoulders.  I’ve also had some issues with tendinitis in my elbow.  I wanted some relief, so I decided it was a good time to give acupuncture a try.  I went in with no idea what to expect, but figured it was worth trying.

The studio is a community acupuncture studio, which seeks to provide affordable treatment to everyone.  The treatment room is warm and relaxing.  You choose a spot in the big circle of recliners and settle in.  The acupuncturist places the needles and you relax.  Most people fall asleep.  Treatments run from 30-90 minutes.  You leave when you are ready.  You pay what you want, $15-35, no questions asked.

When I left, I felt wonderful.  There was a calm in my heart.

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Music calming my mind…

It is a wonderful world.  The sun is coming out, literally and figuratively.

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Take time for yourself

soul happy


Today is a better day.  Last night, I took my own advice and took care of myself.  I spent a relaxing evening with my dogs, reading and knitting.  I watched a little tv and listened to some good music.  I ate healthy food and drank water.  This morning I feel a little more like myself.

I feel more like the self I haven’t been for a while.  And that is good.


Always remember to breathe…

ww sunshine

Today is day 15 and I am having an easier time seeing the sunshine.  I know myself and I have to stop when I feel anxious or stresses and take a deep breath, or ten.  I need to gentle myself through this time, give myself permission to rest, to be less productive, to breathe.

I had gotten away from reading last fall.  I know books feed my soul.  I just finished my third book in the past two weeks; that is progress.  I know creative things feed my soul.  I finished a pair of socks that have been on my needles since June.  I began another pair yesterday, it feels good to hear the click, click with beautiful music in the background.

I must slow myself down and stop to enjoy those things.  Simple things will be my sunshine.  Last night it was laying on my bed and having my three dogs all lay down around me.  This morning it was visiting with a student I really care about and hearing about her progress.

I have a lot of good in my life.  The sunshine will be my focus.

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Crowding out the bad stuff, making room for the good.

Last night my yoga instructor shared this:

The Daily Lean: Today’s Affirmation: I Crowd Out


It’s a nice positive view on changing bad habits.


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Strength is beauty

Strength is beauty


Cooking to distract myself from Friday night

Yesterday, I got to thinking about the overripe bananas sitting in the kitchen.  Looking to distract myself, I decided to search recipes.  Mind you we were snowed in, so I needed to work with what I had on hand.  Unfortunately, there seems to be a shortage of banana cookie or cake recipes that aren’t full of oatmeal, nuts or cinnamon.  All of those things were in short supply, so I did nothing.  Today I had better luck, I found a cake recipe.  It  didn’t go as planned.  A metaphor for my life.

When I went to take the first layer out of the pan, let’s just say it was soft.  Not to be undone, I put them back in the oven.   Maybe I’ll just euthanize this one (cake for dinner anyone?  it has eggs, flour and fruit)  I can pretend I only wanted a one layer cake.

No danger of this becoming a cooking blog

No danger of this becoming a cooking blog

This was aspiring to be a banana cake with white chocolate chips and  coconut butter-cream frosting.  At least it was a fabulous distraction and it did taste good.  Sometimes you just have to make the best of things, even when they don’t turn out the way you plan.  I’ll take this one with a big glass of milk.  Have a peaceful weekend.