Who me?

learning to see myself clearly

Seeing people clearly…

expectation

As I work on building the life I need and want, it has become clear to me that there are people and things that clearly do not fit.  The things are easy to see.  Alcohol doesn’t work for me.  I feel better when I eat well and drink plenty of water….   People and relationships are so complex; it is much more difficult to make sense of them.

I have a long history of finding people disappointing.  Now, if I am honest with myself, I know that there is not a large contingent of people who stay up nights thinking of ways to disappoint me.  The problem lies with my expectations.  I have learned that you must strive to see a person for who they are and then accept them, or not.  It really is that simple.

Notice, I didn’t say easy.  It is decidedly NOT easy.  If you are like me, you want to be liked.  You don’t want to hurt anyone.  You want to be a good friend and be there for your friends in their time of need.  It is ridiculously difficult to look at a friendship and realize that it is all one-sided.  It is sad, but you cannot build a healthy relationship based on negative things.  AND you can’t expect more of someone than they are capable of, it is a plan for disappointment and in the worst case anger.

I know these things, but I am having a terrible time coming to a place where I can let go.  I need to build friendships that add to my life in a positive way.  I do not need drama or people that thrive on it.  I am declaring my life a drama-free zone.  Now, I just need to figure out how to implement that kindly.

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