Who me?

learning to see myself clearly

Will power…or is it won’t power?

on January 30, 2014

change willpower

I always thought one of my flaws was a lack of willpower.  I drank whatever I wanted, I ate whatever I wanted.  When confronted with a nice display of chocolate in our lunchroom at work, I heard one co-worker congratulating another on her willpower.  My response was, “I will have some, too.  I have plenty of willpower; I just need more won’t power.”  I’ve never had a shortage of self deprecating humor.  (note to self:  put that on the list of flaws)

Is willpower really the issue?  I’ve been allowing myself to indulge the sugar cravings a bit this month. (I’m on day 30)  I do know that this cannot go on endlessly.  I am sober, that is good.  I also need to watch my sugar intake for my health.  On that note, I am not ready to change.

I like the way that sounds.  When I consider whether or not I am ready to make a necessary change, it sounds like an opportunity for growth.  Lack of willpower sounds like an excuse, like some dreadful personal failing.  I am really working on thinking about things in a more positive way.  Today I will begin with this.


2 responses to “Will power…or is it won’t power?

  1. iamsobernow says:

    I just posted a reply about dealing with sugar cravings. It’s completely new for me to want sweet rather than salty or spicy. This is not an unusual reaction early in sobriety and I believe it will balance on its own shortly. One thing at a time.

    I spent a lot of time berating myself for my lack of willpower, my weakness, my laziness in not being able to get sober. I’m learning to be more gentle with myself and am coming to believe that addiction is not lack of willpower. Addiction hijacks the brain by changing how it works. Willpower doesn’t overcome the loss of rational control over behavior. I wish I understood this better.

    I like the way you phrased it, “I am not ready to change”. It becomes a conscious choice rather than a that “dreadful personal failing”.

    Thoughtful post! 🙂


  2. In 12-step recovery, we talk about willpower. Alcoholics have willpower – I can do some crazy things (like bike to work at -30C temp at 5:30am today) and other things that require me to have some sort of mental discipline. I can hold off having one cookie now to have two later (good example as we are talking sweets and am having one as I type this…lol). But when it comes to booze…no dice. Again, this is how 12-step sees it – it’s not universal truth, or truth to other methods of recovery (my disclaimer before moving on). As Joyce said, there is something to be said about our wiring, and the mental obsession. When it comes to other things, I am strangely sane. but booze…whoah. No.

    Just how I am wired 🙂


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